Sony Doubles Down, Announces ‘Madame Morbius’

Sony Doubles Down, Announces ‘Madame Morbius’

U.S. — The new superhero film Madame Web, from the writers of Morbius, is shaping up to be a huge box-office disappointment for the studio. According to early reports, Sony is preparing to double down with the release of Madame Morbius, which will be fast-tracked for release in Fall 2024.

“Ok, so no one really liked Madame Web, or Morbius for that matter,” commented Sony CEO Johnathon Sony on a call with investors. “But we can save this franchise with — get this — Madame Morbius. Trademark pending.

Though Disney owns Marvel Comics, Sony’s stranglehold on characters associated with Spider-Man is as strong as ever — as long as they keep making movies. According to a report by Variety, they are prepared to mash together as many unpopular characters as it takes to keep from losing the film rights altogether.

“Maybe next we’ll try a movie with Big Wheel. He’s a villain who rides a giant wheel and his name is Jackson Weele, the movie practically writes itself. We could call it, uh, Big Wheel: Origins,” Sony said. “Trademark pending.”

For now, Sony is content to mash Madame Web and Morbius together. “Can we combine two mediocre ideas and make it good?” said Henry Goldstein, a movie producer.”I dunno, but we can’t lose these rights so, yeah?”

According to sources, an early spec script for Madame Morbius features Dakota Johnson’s character saying, “It’s Madame time!” at the start of every action scene.

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

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