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Clinging to Masks, Meyers Wonders: ‘How Much of a D**k’ Is DeSantis?

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As even Democrats begin to rescind their mask mandates, NBC’s Late Night host Seth Meyers pondered an important question on his Thursday show (which aired early Friday): “How much of a dick” is Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis for telling a group of high schoolers that masks aren’t necessary?

What set Meyers off was DeSantis claiming, “You do not have to wear those masks. I mean, please take them off honestly, it’s not doing anything, and we got to stop with this COVID theater. So, if you want to wear it, fine but this is—this is—ridiculous. All right. Well, it’s good to be at USF.”

A perfectly reasonable thing to say given the COVID situation, but Meyers proved unwilling to let go of constant masking, seemingly making the case for permanent masking because you can never be too sure…or something:

How much of a dick do you have to be to yell at a bunch of high school students who are just trying to be safe? They’re actually doing the right thing and you’re scolding them for it. You’re like an old man who sees a bunch of innocent teens walking by and screams, “Hey, you kids get on my lawn! And while you’re at it, throw a Frisbee through my window. It’s not a trap.” [LAUGHTER] Also, let’s just establish the facts here DeSantis is obviously wrong, and masks absolutely help control the spread of COVID. Studies have repeatedly proven that over and over again, and the better the mask, the better protection. Ideally, everyone should have access to high-quality, high-filtration, medical-grade masks like N95’s, KN95’s, KF94’s, and my personal favorite, the AC360, which makes the bottom half of your face look like Anderson Cooper’s.

Meyers also pleaded ignorance on what DeSantis’s main concern was, “Also, what the hell is COVID theater? Are those plays where all the actors have to stand six feet apart. ‘I just saw the COVID theater production of Les Mis, the stage was the size of a football field.’”

Yes, that’s exactly right. Performative stunts that have no impact on COVID transmission.

Ultimately, Meyers used the incident to claim Republicans do not care about people, but Democrats do, “The DeSantis tirade was an interesting juxtaposition with the State of the Union on Tuesday, where Joe Biden introduced 13-year-old Joshua Davis, who has type-one diabetes and has spent years raising awareness and advocating for lowering the cost of insulin and prescription drugs.”

For his next joke, Meyers will claim he is a logician, because realizing that masking has become performative has nothing to do with prescription drug prices.

Meyers backing indefinite masking and showing more liberal fear of DeSantis was brought to you by Liberty Mutual. Their contact information is linked.

To see the relevant transcript from NBC’s Late Night from March 4, click “expand.”

NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers

03/04/2022

12:43 a.m.

SETH MEYERS: And that’s what was going on yesterday when Florida Governor Ron DeSantis showed up to a press conference at the University of South Florida and scolded a bunch of high school students for wearing masks 

GOVERNOR RON DESANTIS (R-FL): You do not have to wear those masks. I mean, please take them off honestly, it’s not doing anything, and we got to stop with this COVID theater. So, if you want to wear it, fine but this is — this is — ridiculous. All right. Well, it’s good to be at USF. 

MEYERS: Is it? [LAUGHTER] Because you certainly don’t seem happy to be there. [LAUGHTER] It’s like when I go in for a root canal and my dentist says, “hey, good to see you,” and I say, “yeah, good to be here.” [LAUGHTER] How much of a dick do you have to be to yell at a bunch of high school students who are just trying to be safe? They’re actually doing the right thing and you’re scolding them for it. You’re like an old man who sees a bunch of innocent teens walking by and screams, “Hey, you kids get on my lawn! And while you’re at it, throw a Frisbee through my window. It’s not a trap.” [LAUGHTER]

Also, let’s just establish the facts here DeSantis is obviously wrong, and masks absolutely help control the spread of COVID. Studies have repeatedly proven that over and over again, and the better the mask, the better protection. Ideally, everyone should have access to high-quality, high-filtration, medical-grade masks like N95’s, KN95’s, KF94’s, and my personal favorite, the AC360, which makes the bottom half of your face look like Anderson Cooper’s. [LAUGHTER] Sure, the top half of my face ruins it.

Also, what the hell is COVID theater? Are those plays where all the actors have to stand six feet apart. “I just saw the COVID theater production of Les Mis, the stage was the size of a football field.” [LAUGHTER] And yet, it won’t surprise you to learn that he was celebrated later that night by a host on Fox News, who thought it was hilarious that he yelled at a bunch of teenagers who were trying to stay safe and do the right thing. 

LAURA INGRAHAM [on FNC’s The Ingraham Angle, 03/02/22]: Raymond, the best is Ron DeSantis saying to those kids, “Get your masks off.” I love that. People are all upset about Ron DeSantis today, he’s take your ma — you look ridic — someone has to tell these kids to — to — push away the — you know, all of the brainwashing that they’ve been subject to. 

MEYERS: What kind of adult laughs at another adult yelling at a bunch of kids? [LAUGHTER] What? Why is that funny? If you’ve ever seen an ’80’s comedy, you know it’s the opposite it’s funny when teens get the best of adults I mean, if Ferris Bueller skipped school and the principal found him and suspended him, that’s not a movie. [LAUGHTER] Animal House didn’t end with the Dean expelling everyone and turning the house into a rec center. In fact, if you recall, Bluto became a senator oh, you don’t recall because you were all born 20 years after that movie came out? All right. [LAUGHTER] Well, in that case, give it up for Euphoria, everybody, Euphoria. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] There we go. And that was today’s cheap applause line. The DeSantis tirade was an interesting juxtaposition with the State of the Union on Tuesday, where Joe Biden introduced 13-year-old Joshua Davis, who has type-one diabetes and has spent years raising awareness and advocating for lowering the cost of insulin and prescription drugs. It also happened to be the day after his birthday, which Biden pointed out. 

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